I’m not sure how people can sleep in the Emergency waiting room. I found myself there, again, for the second time in two weeks. I wasn’t able to deal with the pain that woke me out of sleep Sunday night/early Monday morning. It made me anxious. Something is wrong, I need to know what it is. So, how can I sleep there if I can’t sleep in my own bed?
When I entered the hospital, at 2:30 a.m. there were a dozen or so people, most of who were asleep, stretched out on the seats with blankets. I tried to relax, I knew I was going to be there for a while, but I couldn’t close my eyes. I thought I might miss my name being called in to see the doctor. I thought someone might come to bother me, should I not be paying attention. The television was on too loud. The fish tank filter ran non-stop. Patients and doctors and nurses were coming in and out. The man over there was fidgeting and snoring and moaning and took off his shirt in his sleep.
I thought about how odd we are all are when we sleep. Some people look dead. Some people mumble. Some people scream. Some people thrash. Some people snore. Some people walk. Some people look awake, but they’re really not. Some people just look peaceful. Despite any of these things that I may or may not do, I couldn’t find myself sleeping in public. (I’m told that I mumble. I know I toss around, sometimes. When I was younger, I swear I ran in my sleep because all of my covers would be kicked off, around my feet.)
I sleep on trains, but they’re more comfortable. When I was a baby my parents drove me around for miles just to get me to calm down and go to sleep. I don’t think I’ve ever lost that ability. I haven’t lost that love. I sleep on planes, especially if it’s a long flight and I know I’m not going to be bothered.
But I’ve learned that even when I’m exhausted and I haven’t slept in 24 hours and all I want is to sleep and people all around me are proving that they can, I can’t sleep in an emergency room. All I can do is read (I finished more than half a book) and watch Roseanne and the local affiliate Fox News loop news stories around every half hour for two hours, at least. Taste of Hartford. CAPT test score results for the city of Hartford. American Idol chick killed. Man who stabbed his 8 month old baby. Car crash. How not to place a personal ad. The weather. Taste of Hartford. CAPT test score results for the city of Hartford. American Idol chick killed. Man who stabbed his 8 month old baby. Car crash. How not to place a personal ad. The weather. And they don’t even change the words a bit.
I’m okay now, I guess. I got home after 10 a.m. (it felt like 3 in the afternoon) and crashed on my bed and I don’t think I even moved once in my sleep. Enough of those emergency rooms, please.